Updated: Nov 18, 2020
When I got divorced, I knew everything would change. I obviously knew that I didn’t have a big group of friends waiting to back me up and you know what? That’s fine because the ones that I do have, those are my people. The few, and I mean that literally, that have stuck with me, are the ones that I know I can really count on, because there aren’t that many things harder than this.
You know what else is hard? Having people that you thought were your friends, go totally silent. Sure, maybe you feel awkward and don’t know what to say or how you could help so you just don’t reach out. I get it, it’s also awkward for me to tell everyone. Something I’ve hated even more than being ghosted by people I cared about? The nosy bitches that seem to have popped on the facebook and instagram pages I’m ready to delete. If we’re not friends on facebook, there’s a reason. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice your impeccable timing when you hit request?
Actually I’m not sure that I hate the nosy bitches more than the fact that people I thought cared about me never once bothered to ask me if I was ok. Maybe this will come as a shock but I lost something too. Sure I can be the bad guy if it makes you sleep better at night, but marriages that have two happy people don’t end in divorce. Did you really think I just woke up and thought “You know what might be fun today? Ripping my whole world apart, yeah that sounds like a good time.” I can assure you that’s not how it went down.
Something else that really sucks is the silence that hung in the air when I tried to keep going with my life and be there for everybody that I had assumed would be there for me. I hate the strange feeling I get when we happen to bump into each other. I see you trying to pretend that you don’t see me and honestly I’m not sure how to feel about it. On one hand, it really hurts. On the other hand, I guess I’d rather not engage in awkward small talk with someone that doesn’t value me.
If you’re really ok to go on pretending you know all the details and then scattering them about with your own spin, that’s fine, I’ll bounce back. I won’t pretend that for a moment it doesn’t hurt but something I’ve always been proud of when it comes to me is that I know I can’t please everybody, so I just need to be true to myself. Those that mind, don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind. If you don’t like that, #sorrynotsorry. Just try to remember, while you’re using part of my life story (and my kids) as your source of entertainment, that it would have been nice if you would have asked me first.