Here’s the thing about me. I can be your biggest fan, always have your back, even when you’re wrong. Cheer you on and shower you with all good things. If you make it to my inner circle, there’s almost nothing I wouldn’t do for you. It’s just hard to get there. I have major trust issues that stem from all the way back to childhood. Most people fall into the category of indifference. There are very few people that I would prefer to not occupy this earth. I don’t like the whole competitive drama bullshit. There’s room for everybody to be their best self, to build their own wealth and have an amazing life. Even if you’re not in my circle, I hope you are living your best life, I just don’t need to be a part of it.
So what about those relationships that you can’t get away from, maybe it’s family or a childhood friend. My take is that people are people and relationship status doesn’t need to be a factor. How many people say they don’t want to be treated like family because their family treats them like shit? Hint: It’s a big majority. I say, make your own family, fill your life with people that support you 100%, that always want to see you succeed and be better. Even if that means you surpass them. People that are always there for you when you really need them, even if it’s inconvenient.
It’s never about how much time you get to spend to together, or how much you talk. It’s about loyalty and knowing where you stand. There are people I love dearly that I rarely talk to but I know that if I ever needed them they are there for me. There are people that I talk to frequently but that don’t really know me. It feels like they do because we chat a lot, but if you pressed them on important issues they wouldn’t have a clue.
I believe in second chances because nobody is perfect, we all mess up at some point. But I’m also really good at reading people and I can tell when they aren’t truly invested in me. They have a version of what they would like for our relationship to be, but haven’t put in the effort to build it. I know that this goes both ways, that I need to be there for them too. But here’s the thing. If you have hurt me, I’ll hold you at a distance. I won’t keep pouring into you, giving you my time and support, telling you personal things about my life because I don’t trust that you are in it for the long haul. I come with a lot of heavy baggage. Most people don’t know what to do with the real me. This is why I don’t have a ton of friends and distance myself from a lot of my family. I can’t be someone I’m not. It’s exhausting and I don’t see the point. If you want a real relationship with me, you’re going to have to prove it. I can let go of the past and start fresh but it won’t take much of a slip up before I just cut my losses. I don’t need a fair weather friend. Someone who just likes to be in the know. Who will talk about me behind my back or say they wish they could be there to help me out, when they have no intention of trying to make that a reality. I only have this one life. I’m in charge of what I do with it and the people I let into it. So if you want my time. You’re going to have to prove it.